Here Are Least Stressful Ways to Follow the Election Results Tonight

You’re going to have a dilemma when you get home from work today. On one hand, you want to kick off your shoes and relax, kick back and watch some TV, maybe let the dog lick your feet. On the other, you want to keep up with the election results, and that’s anything but relaxing. This election is ridiculous. Keeping up with Twitter will probably give you a glimpse of a Rare Pepe within minutes. Cable news is partisan, loud, or both. It’s a mess.

So what do you do? How do you election and chill when it’s impossible to be chill about this election?

Watch Coverage Originating From Outside the United States

BBC News World is widely available on cable/satellite, and who doesn’t find those British accents soothing at night? If you’re a cord cutter, Sky News has multiple free streams, including on YouTube, and even though it’s owned by Fox, the coverage should be British enough to hypnotize you into a meditative state. EuroNews is available on both pay TV and for free on the internet.

Ask Your Velvet-Voiced Digital Assistant For Results at Your Leisure

Of the various digital assistants available to help you through your day, we know for sure that Amazon’s Alexa on its Echo device will be there to give you real-time election results whenever you ask for them. Key phrases include:

  • “Alexa, who is winning the presidential election?”
  • “Alexa, which states has [Trump/Hillary] won?”
  • “Alexa, how many electoral votes does [Trump/Hillary] have?”
  • “Alexa, who [won/is winning/is projected to win] [state]?”

Watch or Listen to the Coverage From a Publicly Supported Broadcaster

PBS is available for free over the air in crystal clear HD with an antenna, and provides sedate, non-partisan coverage. Again, that’s for free unless you’re about to grumble about your tax dollars. If audio-only is more your thing, while National Public Radio is generally considered to lean left, it’s absolutely the most calm option you can find that involves living, breathing human beings broadcasting live coverage of the election. You can catch it using the physical radio that you have… somewhere… OK, probably in your car, or you can also listen to your local station’s live stream online.

Watch Anything Else and Check In When the Results Are In

Netflix and chill is absolutely an option. There’s also a singular option for new scripted programming on cable and satellite: WWE SmackDown will, as always, be airing a new episode on USA Network. While, unlike most weeks, it’s not live (it was taped in Glasgow, Scotland, a few hour earlier), it should be a fun two hours of mindless entertainment, though the election means that it’s any substantial story progression is unlikely, which means that the women’s title probably won’t change hands in the featured match. Then you can wait to check out results right before you go to bed or maybe even forget about it for the night and check the front page of your local dead trees newspaper in the morning.

Whether it’s listening to British newscasters take a higher road than we are or watching professional wrestling to numb the pain, we wish you good luck tonight.

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